Noelle

Never were you
But you come tonight
In a continuing fantasy
Of a happy yet sadistic heart


You came 
And you carved that smile
And from your eyes
Exposed your love
From a thousand miles

You greeted me yesterday
But I didn’t care
You wished me every night
I didn’t reply

Give me a chance baby
To cease the mistakes
And replay the romances
For whatever it takes

To tell you stories
Of the past
As apologies
For your shattered heart

Time
Do run
Do sprint
I couldn’t wait
For something
Something I couldn’t chase
Something I couldn’t waste.

today. can be just another day. or a start for a new tomorrow. all we do is a mere repetition. of mistakes and kindness. a drama or exaggeration. a conspiracy or confusion. a dreamer. or lesser. Lennon was right. we're not the only one. we left today for tomorrow. and we ask. at the far most point of today. really, who the hell are we?

The Tercet

I’m scared to sleep tight
as nightmares come and haunt
petrified

I’m staying out of the day light
as my chest is pounding hard
terrified

For so many years I’ve live
now I know nothing could replace
the grace we waste

Yes, life is wasted on defeats
that come and go
too quick

And I’ve prayed to the lord
to let this end and gives us
joy

Let me live this somber night
standing guard watching you
asleep

So my soul can feel the love
and be a spell that dissolves
the tears.

epitaph untuk perempuan egois

Kau yang apabila ku tatap lalu menoleh pandang matahari. Apa ada jawaban untuk aku yang telah mati? Belumpun bersua kau sudah menarik kata. Hanyapun sekadar melihat bayangmu yang kabur. aku belum luntur. Aku berdiri tanpa alasan. tanpa alasan. sampai terlena hingga termimpi dalam kenyataan. Kubangun. kulawan. bayangmu kutawan. Dan kau. yang pabila ku panggil lalu beralih pandang awan. Telahpun berjalan takdir dengan harapan. sejauh sisa hati yang bertaburan. Di nadir gelap. kutatap kenangan sampai hilang segala beban. Sungguh, takkan kurosakkan takdir ini. Medanku adalah mimpi. tempat ku menikmati bini-bini. dan gadis-gadis yang bukan egois.

III

Hampir saja ku tinggalkan ingatan semalam dalam ruang gelap di celah-celah penetrasi duri-duri di barak yang resah. Lalu sedang dibuai alunan indah sajak serta nyanyian, tiba-tiba terpempan antara damai dan keresahan masa yang membawa laju kehidupan. Kejutan tadi yang mencetus gelora, kencang memaksa batin melawan dan melawan sampai tertunduk takut pada kata takdir. Siapa lagi yang derita? Lihat aku. Semakin tak biasa dengan bahagia..

A moment into the mirror
into a soul in it’s solemn
though I threw it, to the softest most
of the heart that soaked
and yet exhausted, by a long dreading time
a time of fear and hope
surrender
and resigned
to some strength
and to He who comprehend.